Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's just like the Real World with babies
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
