that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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