"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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