All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
