People with herpes should wear stickers.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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