that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
