I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
