I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
