someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
