Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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