I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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