it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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