what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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