I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i used baking grease as lip gloss
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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