My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
even my farts smell like vagina
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
