I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize
