I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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