If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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