But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
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