I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Soap is not a condiment
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
