Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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