My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
