Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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