Will you blow on my dice?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
