that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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