we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
pop tarts are not kleenex
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
