I look better un-naked...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
