is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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