did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
