I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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