He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I've blown a few things in my day
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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