Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
