he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
