sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
