did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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