Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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