i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
