she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
