Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
