the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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