I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
