and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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