My first STD was from a foam party
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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