the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
