i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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