so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
someone owes me an orgasm
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
