Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize