Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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