I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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