My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
