you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
