I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
