I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Im part way to drunk.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
