She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
