my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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