is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
