and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
